Random thoughts going on in my head yesterday but this has been bothering me over and over again.You hear this a lot, from TV all the way to Social Media, a lot of women want this, they actually need it. But the sad reality is, when it's in front of them, they don't see it. If you're too religious and your brain is blocked, or you get offended easily, then stop reading coz I'm not putting the brakes on what I'm saying.
The Fall of the Nice Guys, The Rise of the Jackasses, and the Chaos that ensues.
What makes a nice guy? What defines him? Is he automatically nice because he is harmless, talks politely, brings you home, and messages you everyday? Does being a nice guy also entail mama's boy status? Sissy-ness? Nerdiness? Geekiness? Being a total lame-o? Dorkasour? Ugly? Gay? a Softy?
Or is it much deeper?
Niceness for the longest time has always been equated to lame-ness. Nice guys have always been the butt of jokes, memes, and movies. Nice guys are always represented as a negative, and the jackasses/jocks/playboys/assholes/party boys basically the treat-women-like-shit-guys are always the positive. Admit it, you know what I'm talking about. It's not fair, that's true, but that's the sad reality of life.
Nice guys are a dying breed, the more fucked up our society becomes, the less you will find a nice guy. Who's to blame? Media can be one of it, the trend in the music industry can be another, societal norms can also be blamed, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs, and a host of other things. Basically niceness to women specifically, is not the most sought after trait at all. It's usually how hot a guy is, how smooth he is, how much "swag" he has, how attractive he is, and a lot of other things that I'm sure you already know. Those are the things that women look for. Well I'm not saying I'm ugly, goodness knows I know I'm far from it. Not saying I'm super good looking either, that's already bordering insanity. So some of these things don't really bother me at all.
What bothers me is that treating a woman properly and giving them what they deserve, and more... Relegates you to the back of the line of the attention they'll give you. Coz if there's 10 of you, for sure there are 9 jackasses in front of you. The moment their attention shifts to you, they'll complain and say where the hell have you been all this time. By the time they get to you, chances are they're in a world of hurt, insecurity, instability, fear to love, used, and sometimes abused. And you get blamed for not being there or making your presence felt. Then you get branded as lame because you didn't exert enough effort for them to notice you. You get bashed, put down, and made fun of. Fuck that right? But it happens, all the time.
Women get hurt, wish for a nice guy, it's in front of them, they look at the next jackass that comes by, wishing he would change for her. Well I got news for you ladies who think that way, dream on.. Keep on dreaming. Coz that path you are wishing for is a helluva bumpy ride. What makes me say that? Coz guys don't genetically end up as being assholes. We all have mothers, and mothers have a way of teaching their sons how women should be treated. (If you didn't have that childhood, then you need help) Father's, even the most kupal ones, will not teach you to break a woman's will. I mean who does that right? A jackass used to be nice at some point, but their hearts got broken or played with at some point, and they made sure that it won't happen again. Hence the rise of the playboys and the heartbreakers. Only one thing can really break a man, and that is a woman. Sadly the rise of the jackasses are also caused by women, the bad kind that is. And bad women are also caused by jackasses.. It's a vicious cycle.
The nice guys are dying out because more and more are getting shunned by the very women that they like or at least friends with. In conversations these guys will hear about the guys that you like, sometimes guys they know, pretty sure they know more about him than you. But of course the girls won't listen, and listening to their inner "fantasized romanticity" that those guys will change. Girl gets hurt, gets consolation from the nice guy friend. Then repeats.. Like wtf? So what happens to the nice guy friend? If he's long-suffering, or martyrs as some people call it, they'll stick around until you see the light. Then the girl says "I wish I had a guy like you"....... ampuu.. *@#?!#
Sounds familiar?
Now about me for a bit, I consider myself nice naman haha. I grew up in a single parent home. I didn't have a father in my life, but I had a couple of father figures. I was raised by my family, and taught values by the women in our family. My mother specifically ingrained in my head that I should treat women properly no matter what. I was taught to treat women respectfully, talk to them properly, and conduct myself in an appropriate manner when around women. Flash forward 20 something years and it's stuck in my head and in my heart. I don't treat women the way almost every other guy does; as objects, trophies, "achievements", another mark in the score sheet, rebounds, toys, punching bags, and a ton of other shit that jackasses do. I just don't, and I really doubt I can find it in my heart to go down to that level. I'm a jackass in other things, but not when it comes to the serious stuff, specially women. Yes I'm newly single, around 3 months now. But no this isn't to lift my bench up hahaha.
My final thought on this matter is that, nice guys should stick to being nice. It's easy to be a jackass. It really is. Zero effort needed.. Jackasses usually have their brains so far up their asses that it's not even funny.
Be the guy you want your children to be. Be the man that you will be proud of being. Be the guy that will go down in history as the best husband in the world, the best father, the best fuckin guy that ever walked the fuckin planet. Stay that way, nice guys are rare, we shouldn't let it die out. The road is harder coz society favors the assholes. But they'll learn their lesson, hopefully without getting hurt, or damaged.
Women naman, so special haha. Stop seeing past the physical. You'll just get hurt. Accept guys for who they are, and what they're capable of. Just because they're nice it doesn't mean they're lame. Trust me, they have a lot up their sleeve. And there's a huge chance that you will never ever feel unloved or unwanted. They will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And they will stay true to you. If you're worried about awesomeness then let me tell you, if a guy's love can make a woman bloom. A woman's love can turn a guy into the freakin President of the Universe, or Chuck Norris (whichever is more awesome)..
Think, don't be swayed by smooth talk and cheesy moves. Any douche can do that. But it takes a nice guy to treat you the way you want to be treated.
Happy New Year bostads!
